At a Snail's Pace
Do any of you out there ever feel like you're lagging behind your peers in life? So many of my friends have big-time careers or are married or are... (gulp)... having babies and I have none of that (by my choice).
With each passing year I feel more infantalized as my friends become real adults and I'm still living like a teen. Can any of you relate? How do you stop feeling bad about it?
I'm not even the kind of person who believes a good job and domestic bliss make life worth living so I don't know why these feelings come up. I don't know why I sometimes see not having a bigwig career and not being in a serious long-term relationship or unmarried without children as a bad thing. I love my freedom. I like that I don't have to worry about anyone else or take care of anyone else, but just once in a while I feel like people are going to think there's something wrong with me for not getting married and trying to achieve domesticity. But it's not even anyone's business so I don't know why I care! I'm doing responsible things: I'm earning advanced degrees, I work, I'm involved in my community, I have friends and family.
Perhaps the ideals of marriage and family are so culturally instilled that despite the fact that I rarely think about having them -- and 90% of the time don't even want them -- it's inevitable that they creep into my conscience once in a while and make me wonder if I should be striving toward them, or that I'm a failure in some way for not having them.
Bah, I don't think this friggin' post even makes sense. I annoy myself.
With each passing year I feel more infantalized as my friends become real adults and I'm still living like a teen. Can any of you relate? How do you stop feeling bad about it?
I'm not even the kind of person who believes a good job and domestic bliss make life worth living so I don't know why these feelings come up. I don't know why I sometimes see not having a bigwig career and not being in a serious long-term relationship or unmarried without children as a bad thing. I love my freedom. I like that I don't have to worry about anyone else or take care of anyone else, but just once in a while I feel like people are going to think there's something wrong with me for not getting married and trying to achieve domesticity. But it's not even anyone's business so I don't know why I care! I'm doing responsible things: I'm earning advanced degrees, I work, I'm involved in my community, I have friends and family.
Perhaps the ideals of marriage and family are so culturally instilled that despite the fact that I rarely think about having them -- and 90% of the time don't even want them -- it's inevitable that they creep into my conscience once in a while and make me wonder if I should be striving toward them, or that I'm a failure in some way for not having them.
Bah, I don't think this friggin' post even makes sense. I annoy myself.
posted by MW at Tuesday, January 03, 2006
1 Comments:
Fuck em. I like living like a teen. I enjoy my freedom. I think I was about 30 when I realized, I didn't care if I ever got married again. (I was married once for a year when I was 22/23-no kids).
And I don't want to have children. If society has a problem with it, then that's their problem, not mine.
Think I'm going to add you to my links. You make sense. Not many people do....
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